The Modern Day Hippie. Eat, Pray & Love The Arts.

Almost 30 and Dating

Posted on November 12 2016

Watching too much Sex and the City, Living Single and Girlfriends may have been my downfall and the best part of dating from my TV screen, the fairy tale scenes, watching woman who are empowered and navigating though the being single and dating and watching all these woman chase  their careers and talk about men are the highlight of the shows. But searching for the one and back and forth with a lover or being in a long-term relationship in real life is all part of the show of my life. Home gals are a savior and hanging out with them at the hottest spots in NYC has been my life also. But I can say that most of my dating experiences are very focused on becoming marriage, growing up I always said I would be married by 25 and have kids by 30. I'm totally the marring type and most of you ladies are also. So don’t be confused by the 2016 version of dating apps, social media meets ups and occasional get-together of friends to lovers situations to find a significant other. There is a JOJOSAYZ twist on 2016 dating tips.

I’m almost 30 and single for the first time in a long time, I’m in a different position. When I was younger since I can remember I was in a relationship. So now being single and dating is so high tech and we all need a little guidance. Times have changed and casual dating is just going out with someone for a meal, and that was just never me. I guess that's why it's hard for me to date in 2016 because I don't open up to new people and just let things flow. I’m always calculating and looking at the bigger picture of long-term relationships. I am not a big dater; my very few boyfriends were all long term, over 3-4 years in a relationship. So for me dating was a different perspective, I take it seriously, everyone I’ve dated I one day wanted to marry. 


First Date/ Old Friend’s
The first date with an old friend or crush is the first step. I distantly remember a date that I’ve had, I hadn’t dated since I was young, and boy was we both nervous because I never went out with him in a date setting, I didn't know what to expect. But it was cool, he took me to a local nearby bar that has a band playing, we laughed and had a great time. I suggest to others don't be like me sometimes curiosity is what helps, He may just surprise you.

Vacation or Bea-cation
I haven't been on a bae-cation yet. I feel half of this is because I am too well traveled with my home gals and must find a new location to go explore and the other half is the guys I am in relationships with ain’t traveling. I believe its my growing up in a straight Haitian Christian home definitely played a factor, when I had my young boyfriends at the age of 17 and 18 they were church boys and traveling was out the question. I believe now at my age it's definitely a must to travel with your bae. It brings you closer to each other. Woman enjoy a man who has a passport, you need a new man if not.

Road trips
You may ask does this bring you and a mate together? I would think so, breaking away from date to date routine’s … and out of NY at times just to crack jokes and mini vacay are fun. Any woman deserves that and occasional stops at sight seeing places on the US map.


Wait or Bail (The ultimate rule when dating people who are on different paths location, children, career ) Nowadays most males have children. And most people are chasing a dream/ career. So with that said relationships dynamics are much different than a traditional couple. What is traditional anymore? Its whatever works for the two people involved. Re define the tradition and see what fits your lifestyle.


Friends before lovers, how long ?
Definitely friends before lovers. However long till you feel comfortable pushing that boundary. That's a “you” decision


JOJOSAYZ Don’t’s for 2016

Social Stalking
Don't social media stalk. Social media is just social media leave it at that. If it comes a time you feel a need to stalk and you find something make a decision early on to leave your partner because it will only get worse.

Clingy/Nagging 
Nowadays most people are on the hustle and not around 24/7 whether it be work related or just so he can hang out with friends. Give each other space. Woman don't forget your friends too. Your boyfriend is not your entire life. Yes he is number one or I should say # 2 cuz family will always be # 1 in my book until the day you get married. (Some may disagree... but that's your choice!) Space brings you closer. 

3 months Rule's
• A man that listens, not to every command but a man who is attentively listening while on a date, ladies have you ever been on a date and a man responds not to what is said but what he think he should say. Charm is great.
• I was attracted to this guys personality on a date, but he doesn’t want to talk, just feel on your thigh. I felt he was coming on to my body not my mind. Don't be so touchy sometimes you come off like a creep  
• Dont be overprotective. Nobody in a relationship should feel tied down. Especially three months in you shouldn't be trying to make your territory. 

Moving in and Moving on
I like to take some time to get to know each other as a couple and then move into one apartment, once you’ve dated for a while. Although moving in lets you know how it is to be together on a regular basis, if you set up home separately then you can see how each other handles responsibilities separately.

Commuincating

A text is great and maybe evens a tag on a funny post, every once in a while. But speaking on the phone and contacting each other occasionally though out the day is nice. Hearing the tone of his voice is beautiful.


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